dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
