Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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