Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
