I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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