If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We just shotgunned beers for America
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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