The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize