Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
