So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
