I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You're a waste of cheezeits
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
