Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
