We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
