Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
