Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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