She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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