He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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