i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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