We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
