all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
