I can tuck mytits in my pants
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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