Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wear drunk well.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
