Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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