Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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