can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize