this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Boobs speak an international language.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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