don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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