He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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