drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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