it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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