I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
