i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
