Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize