I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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