Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
