Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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