Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
