I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
