I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
