New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
