There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
