Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
vagina is talking i cant
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
