But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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