Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
