make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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