Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
