You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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