dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
