i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
