if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
