and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
