NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
