It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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