What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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