Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
