i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize