I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
