Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
