so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize