I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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