Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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