I'm going to jail i love you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
