Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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