operation harelip BJ is a go
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wear drunk well.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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